What Are We Waiting For?

by Chelsea Edwardson

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06:22
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about

This album is about courage: being strong enough to be vulnerable; being brave enough to take the steps to commit; being willing to open my heart and share the deepest part of myself. It is also a message: We can’t depend on success with others, but we can depend on success with ourselves. We can live our truth. We can choose.

credits

released May 17, 2013

All songs written and produced by Chelsea Edwardson © SOCAN

Recorded and Engineered by Iver Zhang at at Antarez Audio
in Vancouver, B.C. www.antarezaudio.com
Drums Recorded by Tomek Miernowski at Grand Street Recording
in Brooklyn, New York www.grandstreetrecording.com
Piano Recorded by Dave Meszaros at Crew Studios
in North Vancouver www.crew-studios.com
Mixed and Mastered by Dave Meszaros at “The Shed”
in Vancouver, B.C. www.watershedproductions.com

Vocals and Piano: Chelsea Edwardson
BGs: Chelsea Edwardson, Che Dorval, Jennifer Lauren,
Eden Tremayne, Chad McGrath
Other voices: Alicia Sayell (Leech), Sean McGowan, Roger Phillips
Acoustic Guitar: Sean McGowan, Chad McGrath, Andreas Schuld
Electric Guitar, Andreas Schuld, Leon Feldman
Banjo: Dave Meszaros
Bass: Chad McGrath
Drums: Duncan Truter
Accordion and Organ: Nathan Shubert
Cello: Peggy Lee

Album Art by Chelsea Edwardson
Photography by Linda Sophia LeClair
*Bintang melody and words written by Ida Bagus Putra

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Track Name: Bintang
Bintang kukus
tumbuh nyane
sinah galang kangin
katon ringgit di gunung
kadi wayang maukiran

shooting star
its trail growing
brightly as the sun rises
behind the silhouette of the mountain
like the carving of a shadow puppet
Track Name: What Are We Waiting For?
why, in a thousand dreams...
are we afraid of what life is?
I have been afraid, inside my heart
watching you fall... in...
in a thousand years
I will not be afraid
of all these tears
cause they mean
they mean a thousand things
that are good for me...

you, mean a thing
I can't imagine that love would be
what are we for? what are we waiting for?
what are these signs inside my head
and what are they telling me to do?
what is this time that I have wasted on,
on you?

I, I don't regret, the time we've spent in hell
we were searching for the truth
and I, I hope you find the truth
I hope you find the truth.

now, what am I waiting for?
there's a life, waiting for me...
I'm not going to let it fall beneath me,
beneath my feet
so what are we waiting for?
when life awaits our dreams..
and I, I know that we must find our truth
I know that we must choose.

so what are we waiting for?
Track Name: We Were Kids
comfort smiling,
undeniable, 
when I saw you, you were there.
we didn't want it, but we,
we didn't want anything else 
you were that part of me
that I had always known

without console, you were my soul
magnets facing forces and we tried...
oh how we tried

sure we were kids, in this world
pained and tortured by our will
and we never imagined this
oh god how it was bliss
to breathe in your arms

six a.m. and all there was,
sunlight imposing
a gentle way to break a dream
we let it go
time and distance took control
the winter came and stole our memories

seasons change
and winter never stayed
but you have been a constant in my life...
you're always in my life

we didn't see, we didn't touch
but I still love you so much
and we never imagined this
oh god how it was bliss 
to breathe in your arms

I remember looking for you
I went back to that town
I remember finding that your house had been torn down
you've made another life 
now we're a memory
but you'll always be with me...
I took a moment on that hillside
to breathe back in the air
closed my eyes and realized
that you're still standing there
I remember kissing all the freckles on your face
oh god how it was bliss...
oh god how it was bliss.
Track Name: Hey Engineer!
I’ve had enough boyfriends to start a dating company
but I’ve been brave enough to say repeatedly
(repeatedly repeatedly repeatedly)

that I. am not. enough. for you. 
cause you. are not. enough. for me.
not meant to be... 
bad chemistry...

I am not imagining that all the pretty things that you say might be well disguised
I can find a million lies in harmony
we justify, we’re just in time, to make ourselves believe

but I... I am not asleep
I’m not machinery
imposed by practicality

I am not uncomfortable with making plans for days and days
then throwing them all away
they say lightning can’t strike twice in the same place 
but I’ve beat the odds before and I’m doing it again
(and again and again) 

Hey Engineer!
I’m not machinery!
imposed by practicality

Hey hey hey hey....

...I.... wish..... you.... a.... thousand.... miles... away
you... have... never..... been.... there.... anyway

You design materials
but I’ve got a thousand bricks to lay
I’m not waiting for the architect
cause I have a right to fail
and I have a right to lose my way

we are born incredible... 
we are born incredible...
we are born incredible...

blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
I didn’t make words to this part and I’m not gonna try
blueprints don’t define who I wanna be
I make it up as I go according to me...

Hey Engineer!
I’m not machinery!
I am me........!

Hey hey hey hey....

This should teach you not to try and predict me.
Track Name: You Do Well To Talk
Without your veins old man
the pulse of youth throbs with no ardour.
Your eyes full of rheum have against
beauty closed their filmy doors...
and your clogged ears have shut you
from the music of the world
you talk of love! You know not what it is.

Oh in my time boy I have walked the moon
I’ve lived on kisses, swore I’d die for you
wrote bad love verses and I sang them too
but you do well to talk, that’s all you do.

You made your bed old man, 
a life of lies, governed by charisma
Compartmentalize, to achieve, 
your place waiting, on the throne woahaoah... 
Diplomatic ways, surely pay, 
for the rent of your superman status.
You change your words! You make them pretty.

Oh in my time boy I have walked the moon
I’ve lived on kisses, swore I’d die for you
wrote bad love verses and I sang them too
but you do well to talk, that’s all you do.

You broke my heart and ran away with it
You broke my heart and ran away!
You broke my heart and ran away with it
You broke my heart and ran away!

I loved your veins old man
I loved, everything about you 
but good people go, sell their soul,  
end up all alone woah...
I saw inside, you were alive, 
once upon a sweet sweet time 
I’m sad to say: Good-bye.

Cause in our time boy we sure walked the moon
We lived on kisses, and I died for you
wrote bad love verses and we sang ‘em too
you do well to talk, that’s all you 
oh in our time boy we sure walked the moon
We lived on kisses, and I died for you
wrote bad love verses and we sang ‘em too
but you do well to talk, that’s all you do.
Track Name: Tell My Heart
where did you go last night?
where do we stand?
can’t say that this is what we planned
you walked away
you closed your eyes and shut the door
hoping that I’d do the same

but tell my heart
tell my heart...                
tell it not to love you

I might fall apart sometimes
but I still stand with grace
even when you say... I’m second place
you’ve hid away
denying all those special things
you were so careful to say

So tell my heart
tell my heart...
tell it not to love you!

I always said I’d understand and I do
I don’t know why you have to be so cruel 
if you want to erase me that’s your choice
but you can’t tell my heart... 
you can’t tell my heart.

I can’t say I’m right or wrong
but I stand by my word
my heart knows what I deserve
people might say
that I’m crazy but my heart  decides  for  itself

So tell my heart
tell it to my heart...               
tell it to slide away! woahhh... 

I always said I’d understand and I do
I don’t know why you have to be so cruel 
if you want to erase me that’s your choice
my heart is stronger than your voice
I’m still wide open to the pain
even if it hurts and hurts again
if you want to erase me that’s your choice
but you can’t tell my heart...               
you can’t tell my heart.
Track Name: Blessed
What do you think about when it's sunny?
What do you think about when it snows?
Where are you going these days to run?
What are you going to do with your life?

I have been blessed, by you.
I have been blessed, by you.

Will you go back to Winnipeg?
Will you dance alone?
Are you going to keep searching?
Now that you... you've gone home.

I have been blessed, by you.
I have been blessed, by you. 

I have been blessed, by you.
I have been blessed, by you
Track Name: Icy Strings of Frost
should I hold them in my hand? 
they will disappear... in the warmth of my tears
icy strings of frost
bitten by those colder years

come into view, the truth: flowers are blooming in poverty
all the more I wish to see
in those blossoms at dawn
the face of god

clouds are just a chance to dodge
the ability to see the moon
darkness comes to rest our heads
while the grasses gather dew
come into view, the truth: flowers are blooming in poverty
all the more I wish to see
in those blossoms at dawn
the face of god

how many tears are cradled 
by a single blade of grass?
yet light reflects and dreams are measured 
by icy strings of frost

come into view, the truth: flowers are blooming in poverty
all the more I wish to see
in those blossoms at dawn
the face of god

in those blossoms at dawn
is the face of god
Track Name: Unbroken
I often reminisce
walkin’ on slumber
the times that we used to kiss
we made love like thunder
and it all seems to me like
no one was watching
the heart that I gave to you: unbroken.

I often walk alone
to find myself
when all that there seems to be
is nothing else
I'm calling out: "forgive me,
don't let me walk around with all these chains"

cause I want to let you go
I wanna set you free
you have been wasting away in me...

I forgive you...

it's not often that I cry
but when I do, 
there's usually good reason 
and this time it is you, cause you have...
been inside, made me alive, don't wanna pretend
everything is fine, cause there were times
that made me smile...

but I want to let you go
I wanna set you free
you have been wasting away in me...

I.... I'm ready to be... unbroken.
Track Name: Dear Bone Boy
Dear Bone Boy,

I've always wanted to tell you this  but I've been afraid that you would laugh at me. I just wanna say that I really like you. To tell you the truth it sounds kinda silly,  but sometimes I cry cause I could've said goodbye better, cause I probably said something stupid, and I'll probably never see you again.  [dear bone boy] One day I called you and you weren't home and I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to the movies. Boy was I brave! [boy was I afraid].  Oh well enough of that talk, I just wanted to know if you felt the same way. [dear bone boy] If you want it would be nice if you would write me. 

Love,
Chelsea D. Edwardson