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What Are We Waiting For?

by Chelsea Edwardson

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1.
Bintang 01:52
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Bintang kukus tumbuh nyane sinah galang kangin katon ringgit di gunung kadi wayang maukiran shooting star its trail growing brightly as the sun rises behind the silhouette of the mountain like the carving of a shadow puppet
2.
What Are We Waiting For? 07:07
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why, in a thousand dreams... are we afraid of what life is? I have been afraid, inside my heart watching you fall... in... in a thousand years I will not be afraid of all these tears cause they mean they mean a thousand things that are good for me... you, mean a thing I can't imagine that love would be what are we for? what are we waiting for? what are these signs inside my head and what are they telling me to do? what is this time that I have wasted on, on you? I, I don't regret, the time we've spent in hell we were searching for the truth and I, I hope you find the truth I hope you find the truth. now, what am I waiting for? there's a life, waiting for me... I'm not going to let it fall beneath me, beneath my feet so what are we waiting for? when life awaits our dreams.. and I, I know that we must find our truth I know that we must choose. so what are we waiting for?
3.
We Were Kids 04:00
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comfort smiling, undeniable,  when I saw you, you were there. we didn't want it, but we, we didn't want anything else  you were that part of me that I had always known without console, you were my soul magnets facing forces and we tried... oh how we tried sure we were kids, in this world pained and tortured by our will and we never imagined this oh god how it was bliss to breathe in your arms six a.m. and all there was, sunlight imposing a gentle way to break a dream we let it go time and distance took control the winter came and stole our memories seasons change and winter never stayed but you have been a constant in my life... you're always in my life we didn't see, we didn't touch but I still love you so much and we never imagined this oh god how it was bliss  to breathe in your arms I remember looking for you I went back to that town I remember finding that your house had been torn down you've made another life  now we're a memory but you'll always be with me... I took a moment on that hillside to breathe back in the air closed my eyes and realized that you're still standing there I remember kissing all the freckles on your face oh god how it was bliss... oh god how it was bliss.
4.
Hey Engineer! 04:29
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I’ve had enough boyfriends to start a dating company but I’ve been brave enough to say repeatedly (repeatedly repeatedly repeatedly) that I. am not. enough. for you.  cause you. are not. enough. for me. not meant to be...  bad chemistry... I am not imagining that all the pretty things that you say might be well disguised I can find a million lies in harmony we justify, we’re just in time, to make ourselves believe but I... I am not asleep I’m not machinery imposed by practicality I am not uncomfortable with making plans for days and days then throwing them all away they say lightning can’t strike twice in the same place  but I’ve beat the odds before and I’m doing it again (and again and again)  Hey Engineer! I’m not machinery! imposed by practicality Hey hey hey hey.... ...I.... wish..... you.... a.... thousand.... miles... away you... have... never..... been.... there.... anyway You design materials but I’ve got a thousand bricks to lay I’m not waiting for the architect cause I have a right to fail and I have a right to lose my way we are born incredible...  we are born incredible... we are born incredible... blah blah blah blah blah blah blah I didn’t make words to this part and I’m not gonna try blueprints don’t define who I wanna be I make it up as I go according to me... Hey Engineer! I’m not machinery! I am me........! Hey hey hey hey.... This should teach you not to try and predict me.
5.
You Do Well To Talk 03:03
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Without your veins old man the pulse of youth throbs with no ardour. Your eyes full of rheum have against beauty closed their filmy doors... and your clogged ears have shut you from the music of the world you talk of love! You know not what it is. Oh in my time boy I have walked the moon I’ve lived on kisses, swore I’d die for you wrote bad love verses and I sang them too but you do well to talk, that’s all you do. You made your bed old man,  a life of lies, governed by charisma Compartmentalize, to achieve,  your place waiting, on the throne woahaoah...  Diplomatic ways, surely pay,  for the rent of your superman status. You change your words! You make them pretty. Oh in my time boy I have walked the moon I’ve lived on kisses, swore I’d die for you wrote bad love verses and I sang them too but you do well to talk, that’s all you do. You broke my heart and ran away with it You broke my heart and ran away! You broke my heart and ran away with it You broke my heart and ran away! I loved your veins old man I loved, everything about you  but good people go, sell their soul,   end up all alone woah... I saw inside, you were alive,  once upon a sweet sweet time  I’m sad to say: Good-bye. Cause in our time boy we sure walked the moon We lived on kisses, and I died for you wrote bad love verses and we sang ‘em too you do well to talk, that’s all you  oh in our time boy we sure walked the moon We lived on kisses, and I died for you wrote bad love verses and we sang ‘em too but you do well to talk, that’s all you do.
6.
Tell My Heart 04:29
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where did you go last night? where do we stand? can’t say that this is what we planned you walked away you closed your eyes and shut the door hoping that I’d do the same but tell my heart tell my heart...                 tell it not to love you I might fall apart sometimes but I still stand with grace even when you say... I’m second place you’ve hid away denying all those special things you were so careful to say So tell my heart tell my heart... tell it not to love you! I always said I’d understand and I do I don’t know why you have to be so cruel  if you want to erase me that’s your choice but you can’t tell my heart...  you can’t tell my heart. I can’t say I’m right or wrong but I stand by my word my heart knows what I deserve people might say that I’m crazy but my heart  decides  for  itself So tell my heart tell it to my heart...                tell it to slide away! woahhh...  I always said I’d understand and I do I don’t know why you have to be so cruel  if you want to erase me that’s your choice my heart is stronger than your voice I’m still wide open to the pain even if it hurts and hurts again if you want to erase me that’s your choice but you can’t tell my heart...                you can’t tell my heart.
7.
Murderer 06:22
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8.
Point Prim I 02:12
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9.
Point Prim II 02:05
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10.
Blessed 04:45
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What do you think about when it's sunny? What do you think about when it snows? Where are you going these days to run? What are you going to do with your life? I have been blessed, by you. I have been blessed, by you. Will you go back to Winnipeg? Will you dance alone? Are you going to keep searching? Now that you... you've gone home. I have been blessed, by you. I have been blessed, by you.  I have been blessed, by you. I have been blessed, by you
11.
Icy Strings of Frost 04:09
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should I hold them in my hand?  they will disappear... in the warmth of my tears icy strings of frost bitten by those colder years come into view, the truth: flowers are blooming in poverty all the more I wish to see in those blossoms at dawn the face of god clouds are just a chance to dodge the ability to see the moon darkness comes to rest our heads while the grasses gather dew come into view, the truth: flowers are blooming in poverty all the more I wish to see in those blossoms at dawn the face of god how many tears are cradled  by a single blade of grass? yet light reflects and dreams are measured  by icy strings of frost come into view, the truth: flowers are blooming in poverty all the more I wish to see in those blossoms at dawn the face of god in those blossoms at dawn is the face of god
12.
Unbroken 04:48
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I often reminisce walkin’ on slumber the times that we used to kiss we made love like thunder and it all seems to me like no one was watching the heart that I gave to you: unbroken. I often walk alone to find myself when all that there seems to be is nothing else I'm calling out: "forgive me, don't let me walk around with all these chains" cause I want to let you go I wanna set you free you have been wasting away in me... I forgive you... it's not often that I cry but when I do,  there's usually good reason  and this time it is you, cause you have... been inside, made me alive, don't wanna pretend everything is fine, cause there were times that made me smile... but I want to let you go I wanna set you free you have been wasting away in me... I.... I'm ready to be... unbroken.
13.
Dear Bone Boy 03:18
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Dear Bone Boy, I've always wanted to tell you this  but I've been afraid that you would laugh at me. I just wanna say that I really like you. To tell you the truth it sounds kinda silly,  but sometimes I cry cause I could've said goodbye better, cause I probably said something stupid, and I'll probably never see you again.  [dear bone boy] One day I called you and you weren't home and I wanted to ask you if you wanted to go to the movies. Boy was I brave! [boy was I afraid].  Oh well enough of that talk, I just wanted to know if you felt the same way. [dear bone boy] If you want it would be nice if you would write me.  Love, Chelsea D. Edwardson

about

This album is about courage: being strong enough to be vulnerable; being brave enough to take the steps to commit; being willing to open my heart and share the deepest part of myself. It is also a message: We can’t depend on success with others, but we can depend on success with ourselves. We can live our truth. We can choose.

credits

released May 17, 2013

All songs written and produced by Chelsea Edwardson © SOCAN

Recorded and Engineered by Iver Zhang at at Antarez Audio
in Vancouver, B.C. www.antarezaudio.com
Drums Recorded by Tomek Miernowski at Grand Street Recording
in Brooklyn, New York www.grandstreetrecording.com
Piano Recorded by Dave Meszaros at Crew Studios
in North Vancouver www.crew-studios.com
Mixed and Mastered by Dave Meszaros at “The Shed”
in Vancouver, B.C. www.watershedproductions.com

Vocals and Piano: Chelsea Edwardson
BGs: Chelsea Edwardson, Che Dorval, Jennifer Lauren,
Eden Tremayne, Chad McGrath
Other voices: Alicia Sayell (Leech), Sean McGowan, Roger Phillips
Acoustic Guitar: Sean McGowan, Chad McGrath, Andreas Schuld
Electric Guitar, Andreas Schuld, Leon Feldman
Banjo: Dave Meszaros
Bass: Chad McGrath
Drums: Duncan Truter
Accordion and Organ: Nathan Shubert
Cello: Peggy Lee

Album Art by Chelsea Edwardson
Photography by Linda Sophia LeClair
*Bintang melody and words written by Ida Bagus Putra

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Chelsea Edwardson Vancouver, British Columbia

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